Yes, I would like some cheese with this whine

July 6, 2012

I went clothes shopping today.

Well, that was the idea, but 15 minutes of trying on clothes and immediately peeling them off later, I stomped out of there.

And promptly burst into tears.

My startled partner comforted me as I tried to find words for how I felt.

You don’t know. I said. You don’t know what it’s like to struggle to find clothes that fit, let alone look good. And when you find something, it’s often too expensive to justify.

You don’t know what it’s like to have to fight every day to accept yourself for how you look, to not beat yourself up. To hate what you see in the mirror some days.

I snuffled a bit and went on…

You feel jealous of the people who can just grab something off the rack and it looks great. You feel judged by others, because you realise you are judging yourself.

Yup.

Now for the record, I know that others have it worse, that these are privileged problems to have, but this is still my reality.

I even found myself considering buying laxatives.

And then immediately felt ashamed.

Then guilty.

I will keep fighting to accept myself, validate myself independently of media and other external influence.

But it ain’t easy.

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3 Responses to “Yes, I would like some cheese with this whine”

  1. gino said

    Wow..Thanks for this…Helps me understand the reality my daughter faces when we go clothes shopping.

  2. Wendy said

    Savemart + Wendy = shopping win. Just sayin’.

  3. have us much cheese as you need with the whine Karin xo

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